chris shea diagram

Who is Chris Shea?

Chris Shea is the ultimate sartorial pragmatist. Instead of wasting time picking out an outfit, he wears the same uniform every day:

  • bedhead
  • round black plastic glasses
  • friendly smirk
  • 1-5 days of stuble
  • UNIQLO black crew-neck t-shirt
  • Levi 507 jeans
  • black Converse low-tops

What is Shea Day?

Shea Day is Chris Shea's birthday.

Chris's coworkers surprise Chris on Shea Day by dressing as much like him as possible. The surprise factor is key for a successful Shea Day.

See diagram at left for help celebrating Shea Day. You can buy Shea-esque glasses for $2 from Michael Barbano or Marie Azcueta in 1201.

When is Shea Day?

In 2011, Shea Day will be observed on August 26th. The actual holiday is August 27th, but that falls on a Saturday this year.

Will Chris help me pick out my Shea Day outfit?

No! Shea Day is best celebrated as a surprise to Chris Shea. Geez. What is it with you people?

Head-to-Toe: How to Celebrate Shea Day

Brain

Be smart. Don't tell Chris about your Shea Day plans.

Hair

Don't fix your hair in the morning.

Glasses

If you have glasses, wear them.

If you don't have glasses, buy a $2 pair of stunt Shea glasses from Michael Barbano or Marie Azcueta in 1201. They'll look as good on you as they do on Olive.

olive in glasses

Mouth

Keep it shut about Shea Day if you see Chris in the days leading up to the holiday.

On Shea Day, be sure to smirk a little all day. It's not an evil smirk—it's a bemused smirk. Sometimes it's an I-know-I'm-right smirk. Sometimes it's an I-know-I'm-smarter-than-you smirk.

More often it's an I'm-glad-to-see-you-let's-hug smirk.

Shaving

Men: Don't shave for at least one day before Shea Day. If you normally have a beard, trim it back to stubble-length for the occasion.

Women: Don't worry about this part.

Jewelry

Ladies, leave your jewelry at home. Chris Shea don't sport bling.

T-shirt

If you need complete authenticity, grab this shirt from UNIQLO for $5. UNIQLO is just a block away.

Otherwise, just be sure to wear an all-black crew-neck t-shirt. Easy 'nuff.

Jeans

Chris Shea's signature jean, the Levi 507, has been discontinued.

For maximum Shea-ness, opt for another pair of loosely fitted straight-leg Levis. Otherwise, just go with whatever dark wash jeans you have.

Sneakers

You should really get these black Chuck Taylors. The Converse flagship store is two doors down. Failing that, just wear any black sneakers. Failing THAT, any sneakers will do.

Hugs

Hug everyone you see. Hug generously, like you mean it. This is an essential Shea Day ritual. You are not Chris Shea until you've hugged everyone in sight.